boring
August 2006 
It's raining and my life is boring
Diederick
The rain is coming in in waves. Big droplets are running down the window. And I'm in here, looking out mournfully at the greyish blanket covering the city, just about to call it a day and start my brisk 20-minutes walk home. A very subtle message indeed. So I'll just stick with the comfy office chair, the water and the life-saving coffee for a little longer and stare at a screen while pounding away on the keyboard. Mindfully, of course.
Not that it matters a whole lot. Let's pretend this would not be Hamburg, Germany, and the weather would actually be mildly favourable towards my not owning an umbrella. And let's stretch our imagination (at the risk of tearing it like cheap alu-foil, but bear with me) and suppose I had arrived at the place I temporarily call ‘home'. I would change into something more comfortable, somewhat fashionable even - in my book... Then I'd get some groceries, eat some dinner, read a little from The Simple Feeling of Being or I Am That, meditate and turn on my computer to work on my thesis.
Depending on my subjective impression of the ratio between Meaningful Work Done, and Motivation Slash Self Discipline Or The Lack Of It, somewhere between ten or eleven at night I'd switch off my pc and take a shower. Brush my teeth, maybe read a little more and meditate again, or just repeat the mantra of ‘Fuck all that' and proceed to induce the blissful forgetfulness of deep sleep. Only to wake up instantly to the sound of those friggin' birds outside my window, at around six thirty, maybe seven o'clock, and then it's all ‘get dressed meditate have breakfast walk to work work lunch work' again. And that would bring us full circle to the present moment of looking out the window mournfully, about to call it a day.
Pretty exciting life I got going for me, don't you think? Actually, I must confess I enjoy it greatly though. The rhytm keeps me going, baby, and the habits, and the relative quietness of the monkey mind, and the opportunity to read and meditate and sleep and think. All of this is good. So yes, it's boring. But it's also temporary. ‘Work' is actually an internship from February to June, and my thesis eats up my spare time, so by summer I'll have finished my internship and my thesis and I can finally graduate and get on with it already.
So these six months are really somewhat of an extended retreat for me. And I think I'm enjoying it!
Most of the time.
And now I'm off, ‘cause it stopped raining... for now. And you'll know how I'll be spending my evening ;-)
Access: Public
Your life sounds quite blissful. Does it rain every friggin' day around those parts?
man, if rain bores you, then let me say that you'll die of boredom here in The Emerald City. but i digress, because I Like The Rain like Joe Satriani.
and that “Fuck all that” mantra?! i do that too! LOL. then i follow it with. “Thank God.”
Just don't be boring like ~C4Chaos!
whatev. i sense a lot of tongue in cheek in that last comment.
cute
“Your life sounds quite blissful. Does it rain every friggin' day around those parts?”
Not every day, but close. But it's not all that bad, 'cause it's about the same in the Netherlands and I'm used to it. Only yesterday it wasn't just rain, it was like a cheap shower, and just when I was ready to leave for home. So I had to rant ;-)
As for Fuck all that, there seems to be an inverse relation between frequency+quality of meditation and frequency+intensity of Fuck all that, just like there is one between frequency+quality of meditation and frequency+intensity of Ah whatever, I don't know, often followed by Fuck all that. Somehow, this easy strategy of dismissal doesn't seem to work (as often) when I'm more mindful.
Ah, the burden of awareness!
Dude,
If your life is so boring, go check on your girlfriend.
I mean, she is hundreds of miles away of you and Hamburg and I have got reason to believe other guys are digging her as well:
http://www.zaadz.com/people/teachers/my+girlfriend
Jeroen
Looks like this is going to be your mantra for the rainy days/weeks/months up ahead…
notwithstanding the fact that this is a wonderful posting…, to exercise my right for shoving rule#6 up yours ;-D
As you know, I do not suffer fools gladly. Consider yourself fortunate that the time-space intersection at which this body-mind is instantiated is substantially differentiated from the respective time-space intersection at which the two of you are instantiated, the latter referring to Amsterdam, that picturesque little city that single-handedly lives up to the dual qualities of Sodom and Gomorrah.
Verily I say unto thee, stick it, for it is easy indeed to cut the tall poppies who are stepping into the unknown by expressing their interiority on the Zaadz-space, yet more easy still to do so when you yourself are nothing but a thorny bush, eeking out a living in the shadows of those same tall poppies you mock, those grandiose ones, such as myself, who, like a loving father, tower over you, protecting you and remaining untouched by the mosses of your disrespect.
Indeed, indeed. Mock me all you want, little ones, for I love you nonetheless, and will abstain from frowning -in a derogatory manner- on the fact that you have allowed your friendly relationship to develop to unprecedented levels of sodomy and the utter lack of mindfulness by the single act of living together. The Kosmos can not tolerate my temporary absence from our holy trinity much longer, for all will crumble if I do not soon return to take up my rightful place as leader and elder brother to my younger friends.
Fear not, for I will return by summer, young ones!
In the meantime, keep on expressing your love through this foolish mockery, if you will. I care not for the form, but I do cherish the emptiness in which all is shown to be no more than sweet child's play on the stage of Zaadz.
Diederick, where did you develop such detestably good English?
Watching Baywatch and reading books?
Oh yeah, Baywatch is a great one for learning detestable and good English. I hope you weren't reading books at the SAME time…